Daunted by the prospect of college, I called a new therapist into action. I try to remain calm and happy, but seemingly everything causes stress and anxiety. I'm in constant pain from imaginary fears and dread. I hate going to work and I feel paranoid all the time that some ambiguous "bad" will happen. I stay up all night (which I know does not help) because I'm afraid for the day to end. I try listening to my favorite music, watch my favorite movies and TV shows, and I try to stay active even though all I want to do is stay home and cry. I miss my mom, but neither of us are going anywhere. I dread sleeping alone. I'm empty, alone, panicked, and depressed. Even worse, I know how irrational my feelings are, but they still don't seem to change. I just want this new adjustment period to end. I want my emotions under control, and I want my anxiety to disappear. I want to sleep all day and never wake up.
No comments:
Post a Comment